My partner and I have two children, a son Ezra (14 months) and a daughter Demetria (3 months). I am part Aboriginal and part Māori. Our children’s full names reflect our hopes for their future. Ezra’s middle name Tāne Mahuta refers to a Māori god of the forest. When we go for a walk, he always has to touch every single tree we pass! As for Demetria Christina Amaia, named after the Greek goddess of the harvest, she is only three months old, but she sure loves her food!
My son was taken into care by the NSW Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ) because of my mental health diagnoses and my former history with substance abuse. I could not have gone through losing my daughter as well. I did not have a chance with my son, I wanted a chance with my daughter.
My two main mental health diagnoses are Autism and Borderline Personality Disorder. I find there is a stigma attached especially to Borderline. DCJ claimed that this diagnosis makes a person more likely to harm their children. I think that it might be the other way round, that people with Borderline have experienced trauma as children. This was certainly true for me.
I do not have contact with my parents any more. My father had substance use issues and my mother is a hoarder. I am a hundred per cent motivated to ensuring my children do not go through what I have had to go through.
I used to use a lot of substances, but I have not touched them for two years. I did not use them while pregnant.
When my son was taken away, it broke my heart. It was like losing part of my soul. It had been a tough pregnancy, I was very sick and had a tough time in hospital. Plus, there were personal problems happening in the background.
I concede that the DCJ had a point, but the answer was that I needed support as a mother, and they did not offer that. They argued that because of my lack of family support I was unfit to look after my son. Their goal is that people have a large support network, which I did not have.
I was given a lot of tasks that I had to fulfil to bring me closer to being reunited with my son. Firstly, there was relationship counselling with the father of my children. Then I had to show I was receiving proper counselling for my mental health issues. I had to have counselling for my former drug issues. And I had to complete a parenting program.
One of the things that I do as an autistic person is to research everything and find out everything I can about what was on offer and that’s how I found the Women and Children’s program at Flourish Australia.
When I became pregnant with my daughter, it counted against me in the eyes of DCJ. It was another difficult pregnancy. I had been living with my partner in a granny flat at my mother’s. DCJ knew that she had issues of her own, including hoarding. She ended up throwing me out, and for a time, I was homeless before coming to the Women and Children’s program.
That was in March 2025 not long after my daughter was born. I have been working with the program to improve my parenting, continuing with mental health therapy, passing drug tests, undergoing relapse prevention, taking my medication and checking in. I have contact visitations with my son and have been able to build and maintain my relationship with him. The next step, after so many set backs, is that I am looking forward to living independently in the community again with my daughter.
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